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[Article] – Taglines With Tim: Die Hard!

 

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Posted November 8, 2016 by

 
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The other day I was thinking about the Die Hard With A Vengeance teaser poster and how much I loved it as a lad. It wasn’t because of any dirty white vest imagery, or any giant explosion. It’s because it was just a tagline.

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How perfect is that? So this got me thinking about movie taglines in general and how crucial they are to the marketing of a film. One sentence that has the potential to make someone walking past say “Hey! I’ll pay ten pounds to sit in a dark room with wretched people on uncomfortable seats and wade through twenty minutes of extended tv advertising first even through I have already paid money for the viewing experiance”.

So I thought I would do something new and have a look at various franchise taglines giving my thoughts along the way. Could be comical, could be shit. Lets give it a go eh?

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Die Hard (1988)

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It will blow you through the back wall of the theater!
I do enjoy watching an action film at the cinema, but never have I viewed a scene so physically intense that it has lifted me out of my chair and propelled to the back with such force that I physically smash through the brick wall. Good job too, as I am pretty sure that would hurt.

40 Storeys. Twelve Terrorists. One Cop.
ONE VISION!

40 Stories Of Sheer Adventure!
This one is “Stories” rather than “Storeys”. Not sure which one is the correct plural, lets hope no one turned up expecting a 1001 Nights anthology style adventure.

High above the city of L.A. a team of terrorists has seized a building, taken hostages and declared war. One man has managed to escape. An off-duty cop hiding somewhere inside. He’s alone, tired… and the only chance anyone has got.
That’s not a tagline, that’s a blurb. At least this one makes me feel like I have something in common with the hero, as I too am alone and tired.

Twelve terrorists. One cop. The odds are against John McClane… That’s just the way he likes it.
I might be misguided by the bit where he is picking pieces of broken glasses out of his feet, but I don’t remember a single scene in the original Die Hard where John “likes” the situation he is in. He even seems miserable before the terrorists show up. 

He’s the only chance anyone has got.
Yup. Bit ambiguous, but right on.

It’s Christmas Eve In L.A. And The Party Action’s About To Explode… On The Fortieth Floor!
It’s a bit of a dick move having your office party on Christmas Eve. Some people have kids and others will want to travel back to see loved ones. Not even booked a room at a restaurant. At least it’s on the 40th floor, meaning you’ll probably sober up on the way down to get a kebab. 

Suspense, Excitement, Adventure, On every level!
Apart from level 17. That’s finance and market research.

Die Hard 2 (1990)

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Die Harder.
There it is folks. The tagline so great everyone thinks its part of title.

They say lightning never strikes twice… They were wrong
Who’s they? Have they never watched the discovery channel? That shit happens all the time!

John McClane is back in the wrong place at the wrong time!
And in the wrong movie! John McClane is Getting Even With Dad.

Last time, it blew you through the back wall of the theatre. This time, it will blow you sky high!
There is only one way I want to be blown in a movie theatre and let me tell you It doesn’t involve going through the back wall or being thrown sky high, but it might involve a little explosion at the end AM I RIGHT LADS!?

Yippee Ki Yay, All over again!
No Fucking Shit Lady Does It Sound Like I’m Ordering A Pizza? All over again!

 

Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995)

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When the theater goes dark, the roof blows off.
Every screening? That sounds expensive.

Think fast. Look alive. Die hard.
Love Soft. Sleep Well. Got Milk?

On a good day he’s a great cop. On a bad day he’s the best there is.
On an average day he is ok, gets his stuff done and keeps his head down. On a cold day he is a bit of a knob.

McClane is back
and this time its personal when you go back to the water and no one can hear you scream.

This time, it’s personal
Honestly didn’t realise this was the next tagline on the list. Jesus wept.

It’s boometime in the big apple
Because of all the explosions, you see.

 

Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

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Yippee Ki Yay Mo – John 6:27
According to IMDB that is literally the only tagline. – Tim 14:08

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A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

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Yippee Ki-Yay Mother Russia
Well at least they gave us the courtesy of a pun this time rather than just cut off halfway through. Yippee Ki Ya Mo? Who’s Mo?

Like father. Like son. Like hell!
This makes no sense. Like hell? So they’re nothing like each other? Or are they both like hell? Are they both hot and scary? I was described as hot and scary once. It was a sexy night.

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Tim Buckler
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